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At one point in my life, I would have argued that judgments based on appearance are purely detrimental to the cohesive powers of society. Unfortunately, it would make me a hypocrite to some degree.

As a child, I remember that only certain dresses were for church, and that a particular pair of tattered sneakers could only be worn during playtime, not on a family outing. I established during those earlier years that my clothes were not my own, but a link to my family, school, or church. My high school years forced me to challenge these ideals.

Although high school is typically when many of our parents' ideals are tested, this is also the time when parents get a little hypocritical in the name of rearing. For example, we want our children to be both unique and conform to standards, simultaneously. I've found it amusing to see a teen who claims independence and uniqueness by coloring his hair and ripping his clothes. It's even more amusing to see the group of friends he or she has that all have colored hair and ripped clothes!

I believe that the majority of us have the desire to be different, even if that means being different with someone else. We judge, even if we're not racist, or are literally color-blind. Our brains are programmed at a young age to determine what is morally right or wrong according to wardrobe. From a football jersey to a priest's collar we can be whatever we want to be in the eyes of someone else just by donning the right uniform. For instance, take a look at our society's interest in costume parties and Halloween for our children. How many of us really take the time to explain the history of Halloween before we run out and get the cutest pumpkin outfit for our baby boys, or princess wands for our girls?

Judging by appearance becomes even more erroneous when we become prey to those who play on these societal norms. How are people with police uniforms, shades, and a fake badge, able to enter a stranger's home? Why do desperate people flock to doctors who eventually butcher them during bogus plastic surgery procedures? We have such a strong belief in these uniforms, or the tools that people carry (i.e. a scalpel, stethoscope)that our judgment is often cloudy.

Those of us who choose not to conform usually have to work twice as hard to prove that we are worthy to perform these same tasks. Maybe it is just wise to follow Mom and Dad's advice after all!

Learn more about this author, Kristal Stafford.
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