by A.J. Rusli

Created on: February 28, 2010

Lately, I have been listening to a lot of friends with bad experiences regarding their relationships and love affairs.  My heart goes out to them and I do understand how painful it can be.  One may argue that heartbreak is the worst form of torture and pain on this earth.  Life in that regard is very much a paradox; on one hand you are expected to be independent and strong but on the other hand you need companionship, attention, and love. Every living being needs that.

I myself find it hard to separate the 'quantities' of love that I am supposed to give when I love something or someone, thus to me there is no such thing as 'holding back on love so it doesn't hurt you' kind of tactic.  So when it does happen, it really comes as a huge whopper and the feeling is like having a part of your soul taken from you, leaving a big black hole in your feelings.  Such an experience will take at least a couple of months for things to be all right again, but the point here is that THINGS WILL BE ALL RIGHT...nothing stays the same forever in this world and that includes BAD TIMES TOO…many people forget that.

Some people are also hung up on the idea of a soul mate, and it is as if that the heartbreak that they experienced was the loss of their soul mate.  My question here is: Perhaps it happened because you were meant to FIND your REAL soul mate somewhere out there, and that the one who left/rejected you wasn’t ‘The One?’

I believe that if you get your heart broken, it just wasn't meant to be, and in our limited human minds, we still can't see the vast future before us where it is still not the end just because we got our hearts broken once, twice or even thrice.  For me, I find that it helps to keep the mind busy, and one way to help channeling our feelings is by focusing our thoughts and efforts elsewhere.  Based on your interests, you can take up new languages, a new job, learn to play a musical instrument, join an art class, take up martial arts or join a gym (and actually go regularly!), and the biggest 'focus diversion' will be taking up part-time studies.  And if all that still doesn't work, then you're probably not human!

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