by Athena Brady

Created on: February 27, 2010

What do you do if you suddenly find yourself in a abusive relationship ? If you are reading this, you are either interested in the subject or trying to decide what you should do. You may be in shock. It is a fact, that all physically abusive relationships have recognisable patterns to them. You may be feeling this was a one off thing, that will not happen again. Before you accept this as fact, please read through this article, what have you got to lose ?

Let me tell you how your relationship may have gone, up until this abusive incident. You met your present partner and thought you had finally found the one. He/she made you feel like you were the only person in the room. They were attentive and thoughtful and soon, you could not imagine your life without them. They want to spend every minute they can with you and you in return, are extremely flattered at their attention. All the above may or may not apply to you and could be present in a loving well balanced relationship too.

Abusive partners do not start out as angry people, they start out as very loving partners and the rot often seeps in slowly. If your partner has several of these traits you are in a abusive relationship What's more, they realise exactly what they are putting you through, as they have planned it this way !

There are clear markers present, in a person with a abusive type personality. The relationship will often move quicker than you are comfortable with. They will tell you it is because they love you so much, and may even say they are going to marry you, very early into the relationship. They will be resentful of relationships outside of yours, with friends, family, colleagues etc. They may cause you to doubt these people by saying things like “so and so is not a true friend, or she uses you” “I wish you had nicer friends as you deserve the best” They may ring you when you are visiting friends, to ask what time will you be home. If you question it they may make you feel guilty saying, “Well it was only because I care about you, and I was worried.

Eventually if they are able to get away with it, they will isolate you from all your friends and family. To the outside world a abusive person is often charming and attentive in the presence of others. Just like they were with you, in the beginning. Many victims of abuse forever chase the beginning of their relationships, when things were going really well. They say to themselves if only I was a better partner, mother

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