by Lyn Michaud

Created on: February 26, 2010

Ask men what they love to hear and first they'll say they need to think about it. If a man gives an answer to the question his response will include three phrases. “You're a good husband.” “You're a good provider.” “You're good in bed.”

The difference between the words men say they want to hear and the words they really want to hear is limited by emotions. Men hate admitting to having any sort of feelings. No sadness. No embarrassment. No exhilaration. And absolutely no need for approval.

In addition to the three requests that require no explanation, here's the list that satisfies the mushy feelings men won't ever admit to having.

“I love you.”

Men prefer to bury sensitive thoughts and intimacy has the potential to cause heartbreak so any chance of avoiding those triggers is better. Every man knows deep down there is nothing like the feeling of belonging created by the words I love you. Those are also dangerous words because they mean partnership, responsibility and perhaps a loss of freedom. But, that sense of belonging is comfort, it's home, it's the end of the line. Being loved means not having to search anymore.

“You're right.”

To hear this from the love of his life, excellent. In relationships men lose out on the competitive edge. A woman holds the key to his happy place and that means he's going to do anything to keep her happy including agreeing with her even when he thinks she's wrong. To further complicate the issue women seem wired with a need to constantly prove they are smart, experienced and the evidence of that is in being right. So ladies, if you really want to tell a man what he wants to hear, don't try to out-do him or try to prove your point – tell him he's right.

“You're the best.”

No explanation should be necessary. When a man does even the smallest chore like throwing his towel in the laundry, tell him, “you're the best.” When he gets a promotion. “You're the best.” When you're in bed and he curls your toes. “You're the best.” When he fumbles through something new for you. “You're the best.” Men worry about how they compare to other men, put his mind at ease.

“I'm interested. . .”

In what you think. In what you do. In what interests you. Say any of those phrases and then be quiet and let him talk about his passions. Sometimes the only thing a man needs to hear is silence while your attention is centered

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