by Elijah Riess

Created on: February 26, 2010

What I find the most intriguing about this debate is that its gives both men and women something to consider.  However,  all in all, I feel it only fair that a man should answer such a question.   It has been a social debate for some time now and incorporates several core beliefs that people hold and challenges fical truths about men and some women.  So, do nice guys really finish last?   I think not.  But lets change that statement to do nice people finish last?  Does a person with financial, emotional, physical, and mental stability finish last?  Does a man with confidence, charisma, ethics, and cleverness finish last with women?  Probably not, and more than likely no. 

You see the problem with the "nice guy' in relevance to this proverbial topic of Martians and Venuses is that its unclear.  In my experience we have all seen the same thing.  Boy meets girl.  Boy falls in love with girl.  Boy becomes too "clingy".  Girl leaves boy.  Boy kills himself.  But seriously, it's just too complex.   Every woman wants a man who is in tuned to his emotions and is able to predict her emotions along with stability.  But for some men to exhibit that kind of emotional understanding, he must allow room to be hurt.  He must put himself on the chopping block and expose himself at all times. This provides unconditional emotional understanding and unfortunately..dependence. Co-interdependence is the best situation for a succesful relationship for both men and women but it subdues true "nicety" in men.  A independent man is not labeled as a nice guy because his attitude towards success requires some callousness.   The "nice guy" is nice, but hes also unstable.  And that will crush any relationship.  So is he really nice or is he just dependent and that allows a woman to feel comfortable.  Is he labled the "nice guy" because women feel comfortable emotionally with him?  Despite the fact that hes using her as a crutch.  So lets be real about this.  What should be considered the true "nice guy", may not be the stereotypical guy we all think.   Today, its 50/50 with women.   Women want either stability or love.   Most women desire love but intellect leans toward stability.  And it happens everyday.  To find both is not hard, but it does take patience and open-mindedness.  Does the interdependent broke lover finish last.  The answer is yes.  Does the jerk with lots of money finish last?  Sometimes, but not as much.   Does the man who exhibits intelligence, motivation, and emotional understanding finish last?  Almost never. 

Learn more about this author, Elijah Riess.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.