by Alexi Mccreedy

Created on: February 25, 2010   Last Updated: February 27, 2010

For some people, being dishonest is a unavoidable compulsion, their desires to subvert and mess with the truth often leading to an addiction to lying. But how do these peoples start on this path? After all, the majority of people will lie at least a few times a week, although most of them will be small white lies, ones that are aimed to help, rather than to hurt or cover up something.

Even as children, we lie without any real reasons, nor at any potential reward for our efforts. We do it as an excuse to push our boundaries, a natural human urge to control our surroundings occasionally trying to work its charms on people.

To lie is human, but it is not right to lie all the time. In any kind of relationship, honesty is needed to help strengthen it for reasons of trust. Lying will only achieve creating distance and harm to these bonds, from a loving relationship to a family one.

Lies themselves do not create any bad feelings, except potential guilt from the liar, but the discovery of a lie is like opening a wound that when released cannot be reeled in without some collateral damage. Honesty to other people is very important but not as important as honesty to ones self.

It is a well known fact that self-deception will only lead to later damage in life, be it mentally or as an effect on someone’s life. People who are forced to keep a secret will often live a dogged life, unable to entirely let themselves go and experience life to the fullest, always holding back in fear that they may be discovered.

This is most apparent in the large number of suicides and attempted suicides from homosexuals in places where they feel that they cannot openly live with their desires and longings and so take an option that they feel will allow them to never reveal their secret.

A most recent example of this is from the British rugby player Gareth Thomas, who came out late last year yet revealed that during his struggle with his sexuality, with him at times suicidal from his secret life. But the truth of the matter is, sometimes they have no choice, their secret being discovered may be leading to isolation from society and in extreme cases, death.

Likewise, people who have secret affairs mostly end with the fall-out of their sexual exploits resulting in the end of their relationships and sometimes their home lives, breaking up families.

The damage of these long kept secrets tends to be far more damaging than a confession of infidelity after the first. Long living lies spread their poison, harming people and their lives. Honesty, by admitting your mistakes, secrets and fears allows life to be lived more openly, even if it can be harmful.

They say that some people can’t handle the truth but it is better to live with a clear conscious than to live with a ticking time bomb, ready to destroy everything when it explodes.

When you can, be honest because liars will have to live with the consequences of their words and that can be far worse than anything else that honesty may bring up.

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