by Kyle Sinclair

Created on: February 22, 2007   Last Updated: April 22, 2007

Have you ever prayed? Have you ever actually knelt on your knees to pray? You sit down and talk to yourself and pretend something hears you, and I should very much like to know what that something is.

Christianity.com claims that God answers prayers in one of three ways: Yes, No, or Wait.

Is there any other possible way for God to answer?

Now, imagine that outside my house, there is a magical, invisible cow that will answer your prayers.

You pray to get a thousand bucks.
The cow will answer this prayer.

Suppose you get a tax refund in the mail the next day that gives you $1000 back. I say that Invisible C-w said, "yes" to your prayer.
Suppose you never get the $1000. I say that Invisible C-w said, "no" to your prayer.
Suppose you got a Christmas bonus at the end of the year. I say that Invisible C-w said, "wait".

My Cow CANNOT BE WRONG.
"But your Cow isn't God!" the theist argues
"My Invisible C-w is just as justifiable as your invisible man" the atheist replies.

Pastafarians (www.venganza.org) pray to their god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Replace my C-w with His Holiness the FSM or even the Judeo-Christian God. It's all the same fairytale equally justifiable, and equally irrational.

My friend was describing to me their attempt to take the SAT test last year. She told me that she spent the entirety of the night before praying for focus, clarity, and the ability to deduce the correct answer. Consequently, she fell asleep during the test, and got an utterly horrendous score.

"God said no'".
"No, Cow said no'".

Or, consider the case raised by the authors of www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com. Hundreds of people claim to be healed at these faith healing sessions. "Hey audience, you don't know me, but I have cancer." "Evil spirits, BEGONE!" "I'm healed! Yippee! Give us money!"
And yet, in every single instance, an amputee will NEVER get his/her limbs back. God will ALWAYS say "no" to their prayers. ALWAYS. Why does God hate amputees?

The answer is simple:
Prayer is useless.
Why?
No one's listening.

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