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Mind & mechanisms: To live with heart or mind?

by Mabon Dane

Created on: February 23, 2010

At the age of six I suffered a minor incident of sexual abuse.  As a six year old I did not know anything about sex, so it was rather easy for the person in question to use my innocence against me. Next day, the people in authority wanted me to visit that person again.  I refused.  Why? Because it did not feel right, my rebellion saved me from further sexual abuse.  I followed my heart.  Had I followed my head and did what those in authority wanted me to do, I would have suffered serious harm.  In this case following my heart worked.

I have been accused of following my heart, and not using my head.  Which is probably true.  Many times I followed my heart, then regretted it.  I would take an action, or say something that would cause me and others distress.  I could also be manipulated by those who knew how to push my buttons. 

Then there is the case when my head and heart clash.  I remember a visit to Edinburgh, Scotland and a place called King Arthur's Seat.  There is a legend that if one reached the top and sat at King Arthur's Seat good fortune would come.  The problem was getting to the top of King Arthur's Seat.  I was scared of heights.  The seat was reached by a steep climb. My head wanted to get to the top of the seat.  My heart wanted to stay firmly on the ground.  What happened was a stupid fifteen minutes, of a struggle between heart and mind over King Arthur's Seat.  The more I pushed up the hill, the bigger the subsequent "fight and flight" response in my body, and the greater the panic in a part of myself.  I failed that day, my heart (and fear) was too strong for my head to overrule. This sort of conflict within me repeats in anything involving heights.

Our heart is tied to our emotional well being, and to our body. Our heart is very good at keeping us safe. My emotions and body suffered no harm because my heart stopped a further incident of sexual abuse.  At King Arthur's Seat my heart was protecting me from falling and hurting myself by refusing to participate in a foolish notion my head had at the time to climb the seat.

But in matters outside of the body and emotional wellbeing I believe the head is better suited than the heart. In matters of work, political situations and even relationships going with my heart causes me and others a lot of trouble.  Take any politician, the ones that go by their heart will be slaughtered.  At work or in relationships, if you told people how you felt about them, or the truth, you will be fired or will lose a lot of friends. 

The heart is good at protecting you. The head is good at feeding you.  The balance has to be found between both your heart and head, so that you don't end up like I did at King Arthur's Seat. 

Learn more about this author, Mabon Dane.
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