by Deepa Nanda

Created on: February 22, 2010   Last Updated: February 24, 2010

I had always been highly impressed by Gautama Buddha ever since my childhood when I first read about him in our history class in school. There was something very fairy tale like, very magical about this handsome prince, the heir to a large kingdom who could detach himself from all worldly desires and retire to a life in the forest in search of truth. I found his characteristics very hero like , I mean, a brave prince with a heart of gold who was against war and killing of innocent humans and animals. Somehow he had left a very strong impression on my mind. I even love the name Siddharth up to this present day. To me he represented an epitome of simplicity, gentleness, goodness and truthfulness. I was drawn towards his philosophy of life, his simple teachings and his whole attitude towards living. The stories about his compassion, kindness and calm demeanour never failed to stir something in my soul.

Then I grew up and his memories faded somewhat as I plunged headlong into a materialistic world and lived life in a frenzy of desires, cravings and expectations. Buddha's ideals no longer played any song in my head. That part had become totally silent.

Then when I reached my thirties I was swept up in a whirl of responsibilities, fear about the future, boredom, anxiety and developed an extremely low self esteem. The person I was previously had somehow died. Of course, certain unhappy instances, tragic incidents and unfulfilled aspirations led to a life of low spirits, depression and acute anxiety. I did not know what was happening and was at my wit's end. Nothing and no one could answer the questions troubling my restless mind.

Then out of the blue, suddenly I ordered a book on Buddha from the library and life has since not been the same. I went back to my childhood hero for solace and ended up with more than a brief understanding of what life is all about. Of course, questions about life do still plague my mind but my quality of life has improved and if I may say so myself, I am a better human now, more at peace with myself. Though I still get rankled and obsess over certain things, I am no longer perturbed by trivial issues. Little things which are of no importance do not trigger an alarm in me anymore. At least I have got my priorities right now.

I started reading books on Buddha and this time I truly understood his teachings and his state of mind. I can now empathize with his confusion, his disturbed state and his seeking of the truth. His ideology has helped

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