by Charles Depalmo

Created on: February 22, 2007   Last Updated: November 04, 2011

I know that I'm probably going to take a lot of flak for this one, but I've needed to get this off of my chest for years and I finally have the forum to do so...

Ask anyone who their least favorite Star Wars character is. I guarantee you that the vast majority of them would select that inane bafoon Jar Jar Binks. While I agree that Jar Jar is quite annoying, I don't consider him to be at the bottom of my list (or the top of my bottom list, or... whatever). In fact, he is the Don Corleone of the Star Wars movies when you compare him to a certain bounty hunter by the name of Boba Fett.

Okay, I know that some of you just threw your die-cast Millenium Falcons at the wall in a fit of rage and are frantically Googling me so that you can perform your very own Ted Kaczynski impression with a certain "surprise" package that you will be sending to my house, but at least hear me out...

Boba Fett is undeniable in his popularity amongst Star Wars fanboys, geeks, nerds, afficianados, and even casual viewers. There's the t-shirts, the exact-scale models of him with his little jetpack ready to shoot off into the sky to capture all of the FTA's in the Empirial Court System, and of course the various costumes that people dress up in for all of the sci-fi conventions that they frequent. When I went to see the Special Editions of the "Original Trilogy," (I used quotes because to me, there are only 3 Star Wars films that matter and they don't involve pod racing or Count Dooku) there were at least 10 people dressed up as Boba Fett, with their costumes ranging from simple imitations to exact replicas. And then there was the shirt that I saw the other day on an 8-year old: WWBFD. What Would Boba Fett Do?

And it all makes me sick...

What the hell did Boba Fett ever do in the Star War movies? Now I am very aware that he has been featured more prominently in the books and stories involving the so-called "Expanded Star Wars Universe." But let's take him at face value in the movies. He didn't even appear in the original version of A New Hope. He did however make an appearance in the Special Edition, but he was just standing around looking like a jabroni that was in the scene just to be in the scene. No lines, no action, no personality...

Fast-forward to The Empire Strikes Back. Boba Fett does get a few lines in this time, although we're not talking about a full-on soliloquy like Hamlet lamenting to a skull or even Arnold Schwarzenegger yelling at a kindergarten class. But at least he talks,

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