by Kitten Jackson

Created on: February 22, 2010

Most of us can’t hear the phrase, “the other woman,” without having a visceral response. With infidelity being as common, or seemingly more common than fidelity, we’ve all been affected by it in some way.

It never ceases to amaze me, the way society, and women in general, tend to blame the other woman when a man cheats on his wife or girlfriend. It’s as if the other woman is the devil incarnate, complete with horns and a pitchfork. Why is that? Is she so powerful that she has the ability to drag a man, kicking and screaming, away from his wife and family? Does she put a gun to his head demanding that he make love to her, when all he wanted was to be a faithful husband/boyfriend? It is no secret that some women are very attractive and know how to use their beauty to entice men, but where does the responsibility lie? If a married, or otherwise committed, man decides to become involved with another woman, it’s his choice, is it not?

There was an episode of a popular talk show which featured an “other woman.” She was so obviously sad, depressed, and confused. She had been involved with a married man for years and was in so much pain, she was reaching out for help. The man had been telling her he loved her and that he was going to leave his wife for her, and because she loved him, she wanted to believe him. She believed the typical lines, “There’s no relationship anymore,” “We don’t love each other anymore,” “We haven’t slept together in years,” etc. The woman was pathetic. Then the people in the audience were allowed to speak. The tension was palpable. The hatred was evident in the facial expressions of the audience members. It was obvious that they blamed that woman for the affair the married man was having with her. They immediately identified with his wife (or maybe with him), and saw her as a perpetrator. One woman even stood up and said, “I want to pull your hair and scratch your eyes out!”

The perceptions about “the other woman” are usually far from the truth. She is perceived to be beautiful and seductive—a slut who wakes up in the morning, puts on a teddy, fishnet hose, and four-inch spiked heels, paints up her face, and goes out searching for a home to wreck. The reality is that she is just like your next-door neighbor, or even like you. She gets up just like any other woman, puts on her jeans or work clothes, and goes

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