by Sally Shore

Created on: February 22, 2010

"Being myself"? I could not bare to be anyone else. The truth is that in the intimacy of my own home I am who I am. My house is my Palace and I am the Queen, to be and to do as I please. There is no mask to hide behind and no curtains to draw. The door is shut and nobody can see me in my old favourite dressing gown and thick keep-warm socks. I am in heaven, being myself and enjoying it.

The problem is that sometimes we have to venture outside of our palaces to interact with the outside world. This is when we realize that we are no longer our true selves. From childhood certain social behaviours are instilled in us. We have to look clean, tidy and as attractive as possible when we venture into outside life. This means having to choose an appropriate wardrobe, make-up (if we are women) nice hair style, clean nails etc.etc. By the time we leave the house, we no longer recognize the comfortable person who was minutes before lounging on the sofa looking like a wrapped up sausage.

We unconsciously adopt the role of our "outside personality". We look different so we act differently. The smile on our face becomes permanent when we are around people; we have to be nice, polite and "look the part." We also expect others to do the same. We wouldn’t expect a person to look like a tramp if we were in a nice restaurant, where impeccable waiters dressed with bow ties were ready to serve our every need. People would comment on how inappropriate to find a man looking like a tramp in such a beautiful restaurant. I suppose some people would say that the effect of being clean, attractive and "appropriate" is a sign of respect towards others but sometimes I wonder if this is the real reason. If we all looked liked tramps in a five star hotel, maybe we would treat each other with more respect and be un-judgemental towards others. A bit like the school uniform, all the kids are the same so there is no way of pre- judging other kids until they start to act.

I would love to be able to go to my favourite restaurant with my old track suit and comfortable slippers but I can't. They would not accept me being "myself" and I am sure I would be asked to leave. So, the answer is: The outside world does not permit us to be ourselves; we have to abide to the rules of society and code of conduct.

I am myself, when I can be myself, nothing like being in comfort mode even if the rest of society doesn’t approve. Now where did I leave my sausage wrap...

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