by Parin Waljee

Created on: February 21, 2010   Last Updated: February 22, 2010

To change something that you aren't happy about your beloved spouse should be ideally handled tactfully if one wants to see and observe positive results. It's not a matter of making a success out of your techniques overnight but sincerely speaking its more to do with patience and tolerance to see good and satisfying results which will not only make one feel complete but also satisfied at the end of the day.

To begin with, one should not forget that to err is human after all and no one on the face of this earth is born a genius when it comes to making a relationship work and prosper.

Most of the time there are certain habits that we wish and yearn that our spouses didn't have, say, smoking, drugs, violence, anger, impatience, untidiness to name a few. But, if we go to see we as humans tend to have a tendency to make mountains out of molehills rather than sorting out these matters, be it big or small in a mature and a smart approach.

Let me give an example of my best friend Sandy who not only changed the behavior of her beloved spouse Mike but at the same time saved her marriage of 25 years.

Sandy however had a tough time during the entire process of changing her husband's ways but at the end of it there was nothing but hugs and a happy reunion.

Mike had a habit of going to pubs the moment he left from work and never ever realized that Sandy his loving spouse needed him to be there to share her evenings with. The frequent visits to the pubs developed into extra drinking sessions at Mike's friend's place that he referred to as his special gang. As days went by it was getting harder for Sandy to face each and every day of her life in loneliness and boredom.

However, one fine day she decided to drastically change her spouses behavior that was drifting into arguments and cracks in her once happy marriage. She certainly knew that divorce was not what she or her husband needed but the thing that was essential was either counseling or then a strong communication rapport which she had lost out on with Mike.

After finally opting for a brief chat with her spouse, Sandy didn't have to look any further for help. She decided to give a surprise treat to mike by taking him out for lunch. Something they hadn't done in years. The venue was of course Mikes favorite restaurant and after a sumptuous meal and lots of laughter shared in between they both recalled the good old days.

Mike had found this very appealing and even suggested they go out often enough as the quality time spent with sandy had made him indeed very happy and fulfilled. Slowly but gradually he realized after few lunches out together that he had missed out on a lot of things by spending more times with his mates than with sandy.

Today, I must say both Sandy and Mike continue giving each other surprise treats and moreover Mike has reduced going to the pub's with his mates. All in all Sandy managed to change her spouse's behavior by being understanding and tackling the problem in her own smart way. With this example if we were to do the same than I'm sure there would be less misunderstandings and more harmony in our relationship with our spouses.

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