by Rick Badman

Created on: February 21, 2010

DR. EVIL McEVIL

He was indeed a mad scientist who lived on the planet of Snarl.  His weapons were lethal beyond belief.  One shot with his cheese gun in a vulnerable spot on the body and a person cut the cheese until no one could stand being around him.  One drop of his evil concoction he called Yellow Rain and a person would be on the toilet all day peeing until his ohmywowewow felt like micro porcupines had crawled up the thing. 

In the lab of Dr. Evil McEvil were projects that he was yet to complete.  One was worst than a death ray.  It was a death to the third generation ray.  Not only did it kill a person.  It also killed his children and his grandchildren before they had the chance to be born.  There was also the molecular scrambler that was able to take molecules, fry them in a pan, and make them only useful as something that goes with pork sausage and hash browns. 

For nearly 40 years, Dr Evil McEvil was feared by people across the galaxy and relied on by other evil people to create weapons that would give them the edge over not-as-evil people.  But he was a lonely man.  All the women on the planet Snarl looked like something the dog drug into the house after ripping it to shreds.  He wanted to find a woman he could settle down with and maybe start a family with.  But would a woman want to go out with someone that might more likely experiment on her than go to a nice restaurant and a movie with her. 

One day, Dr. Evil McEvil decided to travel to the world of Sweetness and Light in disguise to try and find a woman he might change his evil ways for and then marry.  He checked on the computer registry of single females on the computer in his home and found three possible candidates.  One was a flight attendant on a starliner that traveled to the planet of Sweetnes and Light on a regular basis.  He "happened" to be on a flight she worked and just "happened" to have her serving him lunch. 

"Hello, sir.  Here is your lunch of meat loaf, green beans, and apple pie with a cup of ginger ale.  Will that be all, sir?"

"Not quite.  You don't know me, but I know who you are.  You're Lucy Morton.  You use Loosy Lucy as your computer name.  Am I right?"

"Yes you are.  How did you-"

"I use Dr. Lovey Dovey on the computer."

"So you're Lovey Dovey.  I would have never guessed."

"Oh, you think I'm evil or something. 

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