by Pat Lunsford

Created on: February 21, 2010   Last Updated: May 26, 2010

Self love is righteous self-esteem which stems from one’s relationship with God. Self-centered love is worldly self-esteem which stems from one’s relationship with the world.

In the Bible there are a number of scriptures such as the Ten Commandments which say that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Therefore, it is obvious that self-love is supposed to be part of our character. The Apostle Paul said as much to the church at Ephesus. “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” (Eph.5:29)

However, there is a difference between self-love and self-centeredness. Righteous self-esteem comes from who we are in Christ. Worldly self-esteem comes from who we are in the world. To focus on one’s self is to turn love inward which is what happened to Satan. Love is meant to flow out from us, not inward.

To love one’s self is to recognize the fact that God created us as distinct individuals. Since the beginning of time there has been a vast multitude of people born to this world and no two have ever been born alike. God created every person with his or her own individual characteristics. Each of us is a unique one-of-a-kind person created exactly the way God wanted us to be.

God indwells every believer so the love we have for ourselves flows from God to us and from us to others. Without self-love there can be no love for others. But how can we develop love for self without becoming self-centered? Of what does self-love consist?

As we meditate on the Word and spend time in prayer, the love and forgiveness of God will fill us as we begin to feel the value of our own worth as His children. This understanding of self-worth extends to others as we recognize the love God has for them. We come to understand how their needs, wants and desires are just as important as our own because we see ourselves in them. When we are moved with compassion at seeing ourselves in others it validates our self-love.

Having experienced cold, hunger and discomfort we are able to recognize these needs in others and understand by our own experience that they need to be fed, clothed and comforted. The love we have for ourselves flows outward to them as we put ourselves in their place. Those whose love flows inward see nothing but their own needs and desires. Rather than put themselves in the place of the one suffering they glory in the fact that they are not the one who's suffering.

Self-esteem for the

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