by Emily Blake

Created on: February 21, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

It was two weeks into our relationship when my now fiance informed me that he had a daughter. It could have been a really big deal, but considering that I had a lot of experience with kids, I wasn't shaken. His daughter didn't live with him and for a while, on the weekends where she visited, I stayed away. I really respected him for not just throwing me into that little girls life when the future and duration of our relationship was still very up in the air.

Our first meeting was very exciting for me. When I walked in the door the little 5 year old girl ran to the kitchen and when we came face to face, looked at me so intently. Instantly, I was wisked away to my fifth year again and remembered how old and tall someone my age looked. I slouched down and introduced myself to her as she studied me with giant bright blue eyes. That day wasn't completely untarnished though. At one point she came up to me and said, "I thought you'd be skinnier." After feeling a little hurt I reasoned her comment to be due to the fact that her dad's last girlfriend could have worn Kate Moss' clothing.

As time passed, things got a little rocky. Lots of crying about why mom and dad don't live together and talks with dad about the two of them hanging out without me around. There was a whole lot of territorial issues: "Dad, come sit by me!" "I want to sit in the middle!" and something that irritated me the most, the fact that he gave into everything, even letting her sleep in the same bed with us. We'd have a "slumber party", where the two adults would wear pajamas, but the little girl was wearing only panties. I told my fiance that she was getting too old to sleep with him and that it was borderline inappropriate that he slept in bed with her when she was practically naked. I said that if she was too hot to sleep with clothes on than that meant she should probably sleep in her own bed. Fortunately, my fiance listened to what I had to say and now (at 7 years old) when she comes to stay the night, she sleeps in her own bed.

As for the one-on-one relationship with the little one, it has changed and evolved a lot over time. At first, I gave her a lot of space. I never tried to be much of an authority figure. We played together and laughed a lot. At one point she actually told me that it was almost like I was her big sister. If she wanted to do something or if she needed to take a bath, it was up to her dad to decide these things. But, when she wanted someone to play barbies with or color, I

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