by Debbie Todd

Created on: February 18, 2010

I have been a stay-at-home mother and it has affected my life tremendously in many ways. 

The advantages have been many – I have been able to bring up my children as I feel fit and I was always available to them.  I took them to the school bus stop each day and waited, kissed them goodbye and waved them off.  At the end of the day, I would always be waiting at the bus stop to meet them and take them home.  As soon as we arrived home, I would get them to change out of their uniforms and I would cook a meal for them.  After the evening meal, we could do whatever the children wanted until bed time.  If they had homework, I was available to help.  They could discuss their school day with me as I had the time.  We would have art and craft projects on the go a lot of the time.  I was available to walk them to any after-school activities, or to take them to a friend’s house.  They very often would want to invite a friend over after school and I was able to say “yes” every time.  Their friends would visit and they would play or do some sort of activity.  Most of their friends would expect to go home with some sort of craft item that they had made as this was the norm in our house. 

At bed time, I would bathe them, prepare some supper, supervise the teeth cleaning and then read them a story before tucking them in for the night.  I felt very lucky always to have the time to do these things and I am certain that my children benefited from my being available.  They have both gone on to University and have become fantastic young adults.  I have always been complimented by people in the community about the way they behave and how polite they are.

However, the disadvantages have now come home to roost.  I find myself at the age of 52 in a low-paid job, barely earning enough money to pay my rent and bills, let alone any left for luxuries.  I struggle to do a regular food shop!  This is despite the fact that I have excellent qualifications (two Diplomas – one in languages and secretarial studies and one in teaching under-5’s).  When my youngest was about 12 years old, I got a part-time job in a local library (having been persuaded to do so by the Librarian), thinking that as I am bright, well-educated and hard-working, I would have no problems developing a career in that field.  However, I have found that working in libraries, I have been

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