by Hayla Lathan

Created on: February 18, 2010   Last Updated: February 20, 2010

How 'do' you deal with the death of a loved one? How do we ever move on? How do you ever take true solace in the comforting words that tell you that your loved one is in a better place, feeling no pain or sorrow, that they are resting in the arms of, or standing beside, a higher being?

It is a thought that, admittedly, does offer some small amount of peace, when the thoughts of lost spirits roaming the earth or troubled spirits who do not realize they are gone cross your mind, or when you consider all the turmoils the world is experiencing or all the potential problems from which his or her passing has relieved him or her.

Unfortunately that peace of mind doesn't stay at the front of your mind every single minute of every day. There are some days that, no matter what others say to you, the grief is so intense, the sadness so overwhelming, that no words of comfort or offers of support or shoulders to cry on provide any sort of relief.

There are some times that we get so angry and selfish about our beloved passing, that we don't even care that they are in a better place. The only thing we can rationalize at that particular moment is that they are no longer here with us, and no matter how hard we wish or how much we pray, we will never again see or touch that person or hear his or her voice.

Some days those harsh realities are all we can grasp! How are we supposed to deal with death in those moments? We get the same comforting words and offers, but what good do they do us in times like those? Sure, we can cry and scream, throw and break things, or maybe even start beating up people, but those things never really make us feel any better!

Let's face it, we never really truly 'deal' with the death of a loved one because even during our good days, we never have any real, true comfort. So tell me, what exactly are we supposed to do?

How are we supposed to keep from completely losing our minds, going off the deep end, and keep from taking our own lives, or messing them up with drugs, alcohol, and/or reckless, self-destructive behavior?

I do not ask as a pessimist, or to rain on the parade of those who are dealing with a tragic loss. I do not mean to come across as a depressed, cynical, bitter individual who relishes the idea of wallowing in a life long self pity pool. I simply ask because... Because I have recently suffered a loss, a very tragic one.

Perhaps the very worst loss a person can ever experience, and every parent's very worst nightmare.

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