by Rosemary Redfern

Created on: February 17, 2010

As a rule of life honesty is the best policy.  In our dealings with family, friends and at work, being known to be honest means we can be trusted and valued. The feel of our life is safer.

Much of human life depends on our need to be able to trust that others will treat us fairly and that what they say and do is not something to trick or fool us.  Without that freedom and openness of interchange, individuals become isolated because they are not sure of what is safe to believe. The disaster in the financial world recently is an example of a dishonest approach to business because of greed overcoming common sense and honesty. 

The story of The Water Babies and treating others as we wish to be treated is at the basis of the smooth running of society.  The difficulty is that humans are a complex species with the ability to confuse and a need to get the best for themselves.

At the same time how we use honesty demands some sense of generosity to others, a tactfulness of other’s feeling. There are times when it is better to say nothing because to express the truth would be hurtful.  Little while lies are not beneficial because they confuse and are often a cowards way of dealing with a situation that is difficult. 

How we operate honesty is important.  Under the excuse of telling the truth it is possible to be unkind, even cruel. The tone of voice, the demeanor and what is said can be undermining and unsettling to someone else’s confidence.  In this case honesty can be used as a weapon to hurt another. There are those who think it is their life’s work to ‘be honest’ with others whatever the consequences. This is honesty used in a negative way under the guise of being positive.  It is possible to tell the truth in ways which are not destructive when an issue has to be solved which involves some delicacy.  

There are some who do not believe the truth.  In fact, sometimes if you want to disguise a fact, say the truth because that is the last thing believed.  This is a curious twist in the human psyche and it raises questions of the attitude of those who do not accept what has been said.  Perhaps their belief is the result of being fooled in the past and they are unable to trust that another person is being honest. 

Honest is the best policy but it is a tool to be used with tact, kindness and delicacy.

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