by Umme Adil Nawaz

Created on: February 16, 2010   Last Updated: February 18, 2010

As a Muslim, I had a firm belief from a very young age that the bad things which we do in our life have a bad consequence in the hereafter. And I suppose we all believe in this basic concept; but even then we have a casual attitude towards sins. It’s because we think that the consequence is so far away and so it doesn’t seem very urgent or important. And then we take undue advantage of the fact that Allah is so merciful, inshaAllah in the hereafter too he will forgive us all and we will live happily ever after… Thus with this false sense of security we move on and on towards the fulfillment of our desires, not caring whether it is right or wrong.

 The truth is that the consequences of our sins are not just in the hereafter but we have to face them in this life too. I was shocked to know that my “mistakes” or sins were the chief responsible factor for the problems that I face. All along I was trying to analyze others and blamed other people for hindering my way towards the straight path but it was a shock to realize that I myself was my biggest enemy.

This realization really depressed me and I felt like there was no way I could be saved from this web of desires and consequent diversions from the straight path. After one lesson I even observed that there is a great contradiction between my thoughts and my actions. I believe with utmost certainty in the akhirah (Hereafter) and I want to rush towards Allah’s forgiveness and mercy with top speed… but when I get down to doing those things which will earn me Allah’s pleasure, my speed becomes very slow and I am hindered by all sorts of excuses and problems.

For a while I kept thinking that it is the Shaitan or the devil who distracts me but then where does the shaitan go when I am talking to someone about some interesting topic? Where is the shaitan when I am eating my favourite food or cooking a new dish involving a lot of time and energy? Where does my illness and weakness go?

Sure enough it became so clear to me that the energy is in the desire… so if I have no energy for tahajjud (pre –dawn prayers) then it means there is no real or strong desire for Allah’s company? And if there is no desire then there must be something wrong with my faith… so is my faith real or is it just a litany of words? This question really made me very depressed…

However, then I read Surah Ad-Dahr I got the answer

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