by Karen Darley

Created on: February 16, 2010   Last Updated: February 17, 2010

You know you have offered too much assistance when...your child’s teacher jokes about the parent with the best project. Seriously. This does happen, and it is an indication that parents are misunderstanding the purpose of homework, and how they should be helping with it. 

Homework is usually set as a way of providing extra practice on skills already learned. As such, your role should be mostly one of support and encouragement. Very young children need a lot of support and guidance, while older children should require less assistance. This is just as well, because unless you are up-to-date with your math, you may really feel deficient!

Show your child that you are interested and available if they need help. You could start be saying, "Let’s see what you have for homework tonight." or "What are you working on tonight for homework?" Try to keep your tone light and helpful.

When your child shares their homework, offer some encouragement, like, "I bet you will be good at that once you practice"; or, "I’m sure we can get through this together!"

Get your child to explain to you what they need to do. Let them take the reigns and take some pride in what they already know. If they are not sure, try to get them on track. "It looks like you need to write these words in a sentence."

If your child doesn’t appear to understand the homework, you could try talking them through part of the first problem. Make sure you model (say out loud) how you think about the problem in your head. "Hmmm, 9 and 1 are 10, so I write down the zero and carry the one to the tens column. Did you do it like that at school?"

Once you can see that your child knows what to do, encourage them to have a go at it, while you watch. If they are doing well, offer some encouragement, and move away.

It may help to set a timer if they are a bit distracted. Do not feel compelled to ‘teach’ your child anything new. If they are not understanding the concepts, their teacher needs to know. Just write a short note.

For a child who is hesitant, but starts work - come back quickly to offer more encouragement. Make sure they are still doing things correctly. If not, give them a chance to find their mistakes. "I think I see a problem with number 4 - can you fix it?" Then, "Good job!"

Now, move away again and come back when they are almost done. "Excellent, you’ve really got the idea on this one. Tell me when you are all done." When your child is finished his or her homework, you might like to offer a small reward, like some time on the computer or something else your child enjoys doing.

Studying for tests and assignments may require a different tack, but the idea is the same: you are there for assistance, not to dictate the homework to your child. Your child should have ownership of his or her learning.

Remember to still set aside time every night to read with your child. Nothing assists a child’s education more than regular reading with a parent. Your attitude is so important. You can make such a difference in your child’s education.

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