by S.A.Robb

Created on: February 16, 2010   Last Updated: February 17, 2010

This is where I can write.  The narrative, prose, the written word so to speak.  I can get out what I need. I wish I was a master of poetry but I know nothing of feet and meter, or rhythm and measure.  I would do it in a song because that is your favorite medium. Alas I cannot sing let alone master lyrics the way you can.  Instead I rely on words plain and simple, hopefully you will read them.

The perfect couple, that was us.  We complimented each other in every way.  Most likely in ways we did not even realize. From the outside we most likely seemed as if night and day.  One of us with anxiety, neurotic, list making, crazy shopping, hash brown loving, anti technology tendencies. The other into gizmo'sand gadgets, secret shopping military style, spin class master, music playing, multi- talented, and with nacho loving tendencies topped with jalapenos.

We balanced each other though. High strung to laid back. Easy going to on the go. Healthy to unhealthy. Emotional to rational. Good movie taste to bad movie taste. You liked to play your guitar.  I liked to read my books. It was so nice.  Dancing in the kitchen to Brenda Lee.  Sitting through the movie that shall not be named.  Being introduced to song after song. Ice cubes dumped in a shower. A whale ride in the spa.

It all seemed so perfect.  No one would know we had a tendency to break up when things got rough.  I look back at six years of relationship and wonder how it came to this.  We were the perfect couple.  We were working towards a common goal.  But I felt something happening.  I felt you pulling away. You kept saying you didn't know me. Now I think that you did not know yourself. Or perhaps you did not know what you wanted. 

The end this time felt forced and sudden.  It felt like you wanted it to happen.  You said all the things you knew would upset me. You aimed for every button and pushed all at once.  I was over loaded. I imploded.  I still don't know what happened. I still don't know where I went wrong. I feel like you planned the ending to save yourself a possible pain. You pushed me away now because it was easy.

We had promised not to hurt each other again. We had promised to work it out no matter what.  We had promised to love each other. But what if the past is something you cant get over. Not that I blame you. But when the past is a yoke around my neck I cant breathe. I cant move.  I want to move forward and forget the past. 

I thought we were the perfect couple because even though we are both flawed we accepted one another for those flaws.  Isn't that what a perfect couple does? Realize that no one is in fact perfect but loves them all the same.  Perhaps loves them for their flaws.  I just know I'm hurt again. I'm looking for signs to tell me what to do.

The perfect couple.  I really thought it was me and you. But now I'm confused, hurt, alone, waiting to figure out what happened.  I don't know what to do, so where does that leave things now? No longer the perfect couple.  We are just like every other couple, trying to be perfect. I really hope we can be the perfect couple again. Learn from our mistakes. Plan for the future. I know I really like what we had planned.

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