by Joanna Fletcher

Created on: February 15, 2010

The last thing you need to deal with after having a baby is feeling depressed, but unfortunately it happens to many women, and most go undiagnosed. The mother is thrust into a new world where her own identity has been lost and she must change her whole life to fit in with what her baby needs. To make it worse she is chronically sleep-deprived and probably still recovering from the physical pain of birth.

It is enough to stress anyone and when combined with the hormonal kaleidoscope her brain is experiencing, it can push many women into a severe depressive episode. This can be incredibly frightening as they experience thoughts of killing their babies and themselves or just giving in, staying in bed, and ignoring the seemingly impossible task of caring for a newborn.

The difficulty in coping with this depression is that you do not have any choices about how to spend your time, as whatever is not devoted to the baby must be used to keep life going. There is simply no time to properly recover. One of the most debilitating symptoms of depression is the chronic fatigue and loss of interest. When combined with multiple disturbed nights, it is easy to see how some women are dragged way beyond their limits.

The constant battle to conserve energy means that any extra tasks are discarded,and finding help and support starts to look like just too much effort. Getting out of this depression alive is going to depend on getting some practical help. New mothers need as much support as possible from anyone and everyone, and not getting this support is a major contributor to postpartum depression. Partners, friends, relatives, and neighbours must all pitch in so that the new mother feels less alone in her responsibility to this tiny new life.

Even getting a few groceries and bringing them over is appreciated as one less task. The best way to help is to take the baby, and other children if applicable, and let the mother sleep. Or just let the mother watch TV without anyone bothering her, or take a long bath, or call that supportive friend who moved away. It does not matter what the mother does with her time; the point is that it is her time, without anyone else's needs taking precedence.

Getting help from a sympathetic doctor is crucial. Doctors can help with medication that reduces the frequency of suicidal thoughts and helps new mothers think more clearly. Many women do not seek help for their depression as they are ashamed of feeling the way they do, or they are afraid that their baby will be taken from them until they can prove that they are better. Thinking is distorted by depression and things that seem unlikely or ludicrous to a healthy person seem perfectly reasonable to an over-tired and depressed new mother.

Doctors must refer women not just to medication but to community supports and resources that will help them to cope as they get used to their new role as a mother. There are many gains in becoming a parent, but also many losses, which must be grieved and acknowledged to lift a depression. Only those women who have been there themselves can really understand and fully empathize with their mindset, so they must find each other, in person or on the internet. Again, getting the free time to really talk, or to write, paint, sing, or some other creative pursuit, is critical.

With the right support women can and do recover from postpartum depression and move into a more active parenting role that includes aggressive self-care as part of their routines. Babies need their mothers to feel well and happy, and the whole community must come together to cherish women in this special and fragile time of their lives.

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