by D. Anderson

Created on: February 15, 2010   Last Updated: February 17, 2010

Every baby is a unique and welcome addition to the world.  The 2nd and 3rd children born into a family deserve the same respect and honor that the 1st child did.  Look at it this way:  if the parents waited a long time in between children, say five years or more, won't they need new things for the 2nd child? Or, if the 1st was a boy and the 2nd is a girl the new parents might appreciate gender-oriented clothing, toys and accessories.  Or, do parents of multiples only get to honor the birth of only one child?

But, for those that have children close together and/or of the same gender  it might seem like a parent is only trying to get free stuff or be spoiled.  However, a baby shower is not about the gifts but rather about honoring the parents and the new baby.  If a parent is onto their 3rd or 4th child or had babies very close together then a shower can still occur but keep it less about the presents and more about the celebration of a new life. 

Parents need to understand that people attend a lot of parties, and with children there are a lot of gift-giving parties such as birthdays in which people are either buying for their family or their children.  With all this gift-giving, it can leave a person broke or feeling like a cheapskate if they don't buy anything.  Try to keep this in mind when planning a shower for a 2nd child and adjust the party to accommodate guests and make it a pleasurable experience for everyone involved.

Invitations can say such things as "we have plenty of clothes from our last baby so instead we are asking guests to bring____" and then indicate what the parents need.  Perhaps they need a 2nd crib or car seat because the first one is still using theirs.  Diapers, wipes, and other necessities are always needed and welcome by any parent.  Or, guests can bring stories to share, parental advice that they have gleaned from being a parent, or just bring a food item to share and treat the shower like a potluck party. 

To say a  2nd (or more) child doesn't deserve a baby shower is to say that the additional children don't deserve graduation parties or elaborate weddings.  We wouldn't expect parents to pick and choose which child gets graduation parites, weddings, or birthdays so why do so for a baby shower?  If buying gifts or attending parties for so many people is bothersome, find friends with fewer children or childless couples. 

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