by SaurKraut

Created on: February 21, 2007   Last Updated: April 16, 2007

Does any woman change her color scheme any more? My mom is of the old school. When we were kids we wore white after one holiday and stopped wearing it after another. That lasted for a short time and Mom finally threw in the towel once she discovered that no one else cared about that tradition. It went the way of gloves and hats.

Still, Mom clung to some of the old ways. During my first year in college, Mom called me to ask what color my spring wardrobe was going to be. Hers was going to be yellow that year, I believe. "Denim, Mom!" I answered. She took it well.

Years have gone by and we wear what we want. In the fall we add wooly sweaters, in the summer we wear shorts instead of pants. But does anyone really read what the fashion editors have to say about the latest fall colors? Does anyone frantically rush out to buy the latest "smoked teal" wardrobe and drop off their other clothes to the Salvation Army thrift shop on the way?

Everywhere this fall I saw "Fashion Editors" (what a gig that must be!) in teaching mode, telling us that the newest makeup look this fall is "smoky eyes" but NOT. Apparently we can err and display eyelids that are TOO smoky. Yeah, I'm still sorting that out.

I don't wear eyeshadow unless it's at night because, frankly, it screams "street walker" when you wear make up like that. Also, heavy makeup ages you. At my age, I have all the aging I want.

My father, a scientist, once informed me that blue eyeshadow was tacky and that when I wore it, I looked like a mating lizard. Apparently a particular male lizard will change his eyelid color to blue when trying to attract a mate.

I valiantly resisted as best as I could, but to this day, all I think of is mating lizards when I see blue eyeshadow. Perhaps we could inflict this on others, so that we don't have to see such violent blue lids, which rates high among fashion disasters. The only thing worse is Roseanne Barr in Spandex.

I have hopes for us, however. I think it's come to the point where the confusion will take over and there will be millions of women cast adrift, wandering through cosmetics counters throughout the nation, trying to find colors that are smoky-but-not-smoky. Eventually something will snap and they'll openly rebel, wearing *gasp* summer colors or even *gasp again* no colors on their eyelids at all!

That is, until it's time for the next seasonal color schemes:
Winter: Icy ...but Not
Spring: Pastel ...but Primary
Summer: Hot ...but Cool.

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