by Sandra Gillhouse

Created on: February 13, 2010   Last Updated: February 14, 2010

There is a vital difference between confidence and pride. One leads to success and the other down fall.

Confidence comes from continued success and the meta-cognition that one knows that they are knowledgeable about something. It all begins somewhere unassuming.

I don’t think it happens with those little lies we tell our kids. You know the ones. “Oh Billy that picture is so beautiful,” or one I’ve said recently, “that cookie is the best cookie I have ever tasted,” because realistically kids know we are lying to make them feel good. After all they probably have had some really great cookies in their short lives.

They do enjoy the effort on our part, but it isn’t truly confident building stuff. The real confidence comes from experiences and making mistakes, then correcting those mistakes successfully. It comes from the courage to speak up when things aren’t right. And receiving validation from others. It comes from sharing ideas and being received with regard to those ideas. It comes from practice that leads to goals.

Pride on the other hand is a fickle fellow. It begins innocent enough perhaps even through the effort of hard work. But rather than accepting constructive criticism or alternative ideas that may improve things. Pride digs his heels in and refuses to budge. One swift kick in the rear usually topples him over rather embarrassingly. Pride and selfishness go hand in hand. For instance have you ever noticed how a child with a brand new toy won’t share? Give him a few days and the toy no longer his pride and joy and he probably won’t even notice if another child begins to play with it. 

We’ve all heard that one should take pride in his school-work and appearance, but what hasn’t been said is the outcome of such pride will lead to poise. Pride is not the goal confidence is. However people tend to get stuck on the pride characteristic and wind up headed in the wrong directions with their efforts. The biggest downfall to pride comes when expectations of awe don’t emerge after all our hard work. Prideful people will view any failure as a blow to the ego, whereas a confident person will see it as something to be learned from.

It’s good to encourage our child’s attempts. But we should also encourage the mistakes for the opportunity to grow as confident individuals is what leads to the victory in their lives.

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