by Janette Waldron

Created on: February 12, 2010

At some point in a relationship we all get angry with our spouse. It could be over the silliest thing such as leaving the toilet lid up or leaving the cap off the toothpaste. It could even be on a larger scale like the way they talk to you in front of other people. While anger is no real sin, the way we respond to it can be potentially dangerous to a relationship. So how are you dealing with your anger within your marriage/relationship?

People deal with anger in an assortment of ways. A host of people internalize their anger. Unfortunately, because they are attempting to suppress it, they forget that bitterness and resentment can often take root and create even greater problems. This can be detrimental to their relationship. When we turn our anger inwards we don’t directly deal with it, it slowly builds up until we come to the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The one time when all that we have suppressed over a period of time explodes.

Other people tend to externalize their anger, they turn their annoyance outwards. This can then be directed at their spouse, kids, friends, family members, work peers and so forth. They let their feelings out a little too forcefully and this leads to hurting the feelings of others. This can be verbally, emotionally of physically. Unfortunately these people then use the excuse that they had to let it out, they could not control it. These people are basically allowing their emotions to control them instead of being in control of them. Unless these particular people learn how to deal properly with their anger, they will continue to abuse others physically or emotionally.

Now if you took this type of person and put them next to someone such as “Rocky” or “Muhammad Ali” they’d certainly back down wouldn’t they? Why? Because they know they would not get away with their actions. Well not without any negative consequences. Anger is normal but letting our anger get out of control is not. So how do you deal with anger in a marriage or relationship? How do you rid yourself of bitterness, rage, malice and so forth?

1) Admit that you are angry, yes address the fact that you are full of rage. There is no use denying it, you’d be lying to yourself. Get it out in the open but in a genteel fashion.

2) Don’t let your anger direct you, you must channel this anger in a positive manner instead of allowing it to take control of you and your actions. If you are concerned that you will say

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