by Walter Abrone

Created on: February 11, 2010   Last Updated: February 13, 2010

Friends are made a lot like a intimate relationship, it is often based on opposites attract. This is not based on every friendship, but it is based on a huge percentage of friendships. Friendships are often based on a common interest, fear, or a disdain for a common ritual( the dreaded high school social ring, etc..). having something in common with another person does not make them a good match for a friend, as well as becoming friends with a person because of their ever so seeming cool demeanor.

Often time it is because of these reasons we choose the wrong friend and by choosing the wrong friend it is only a matter of time before we out grow them(that is if your lucky).

But why are we so drawn to selfish, evil and one sided friendships?

In high school and in college society tells us friendship last a lifetime. So because we sometimes go through that stage were we are drawn to people who are like ourselves we are quick to upgrade them to friend. Friend means every bit of the word friend. Someone you trust, care for and has their best interest in heart, but because we meet a person who is in the same extracurricular activity as ourselves we call them friend. Which is a horrible reason to become someone’s friend. After becoming attached to one another we often do not realize, till what seems ages after the fact ,that that friend is not really our friend.

“They make me pay for everything.”, “they stole my date” or “we do everything together and it is getting in the way of my significant other”. these are the cries of bitter and bad friendships ending badly. What could have brought you to a person like this. Was this your one and only friend? If the answer is yes then you know. Sometimes it is difficult for us to be trusting and will only carry one friend, but how did we make this friend. These friends are made most times because of your differences. Because she is shy and you are outgoing or vice versa. You both have something in you that you would like from the other, which would not be a bad thing if the reason you want this friendship is not self serving.

Self serving in she is captain of the cheerleader squad and you admire that so much that you want to fit in so you use her to get on the squad. You are a intelligent person above all of you peers, so she uses that to make her grades.  These types of symbiotic relationships can lasts decades before the two friends are all drained out by one another. Ending their relationship in the fashion of a nuclear explosion.

To some this all up, real friends ARE for a life time but we often look for them in the wrong places. Friends and family are the key to happiness, so we must be careful in choosing who we let into our lives. Choosing a friend can be as difficult and choosing a sexual partner. But we can not shy away from friendships based on bad experiences. To quote John Donne “ no man is a island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent”.

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