by Shannon Lane

Created on: February 10, 2010   Last Updated: February 12, 2010

I have fallen love with the term helicopter parent. It is the new vibe way of labeling the parents that just won't give their child any space to develop on their own. This new helicopter parent is the same one that society lovingly labeled the soccer mom. Not every parent can be the helicopter parent they truly want to be. Many are restricted with work and these are the parents that I met a wider range of while working in the daycare industry for several years. By wider range I mean most of the parents would have chosen to be at home with their children to oversee their every making minute but can not take that leap from one world to another because of finances. It is a double edge sword for these parents because of the emotional toll it takes on them having to leave their child in the first place and then be forced to turn their attention elsewhere other than on their child and if he or she is eating well and sleeping well. This not always the case. Sometimes I met the parent that could not wait to drop their child off. That doesn't for one second mean they them any less.

A helicopter parent has the privilege of staying home with their child everyday of its life if they choose to do so. Home schooled children are in a world all their own with the pedigree of helicopter parents. I know plenty of home schooled children and plenty of children that attend school both public and private. I tried the three day part time private route with my first child and that was when I discovered that I was in fact a helicopter mom. Back then of course like I said the political term for over parenting was gracefully coined soccer mom. I was so very blessed to have that opportunity to stay at home with my children until they were school age. I thought about little else other than my children and their day. I arranged the entertainment and education. Nothing went into my children's mouth without my knowing it. I never allowed anyone other than a family member give my child medication. I was my children's everything. I was their own personal helicopter.

Hovering like a helicopter is natural to those who do it. Not everyone is designed the same and parenting styles also change drastically from one child to the next and then the next. The fears and apprehensions you have with your first child will always be stronger. Your second child will have a more relaxed parent and the third child and so on. Some parental dynamics are quirky in that one parent may hover over the oldest child and the other parent will focus on hovering on the next child because the first parent is taken so to speak. Some of the over parenting may be gender related. For example a mother may hover over her daughter with a overly feminine styles and have very little to do with her son's activities and development. She would then allow the father to sustain that presence for their son. In some cases the gender could be completely flipped and the father hover over his daughter and the mother take more interest in her son. Larger families are much more difficult to hover but it is possible. I know a lady that has six children and home school everyone of them. The woman is non stop. Her children are brilliant and eager to hover over one another. Their father is very positive presence in their home and they both function with a solid hovering foundation but have learned through the years that they can also just relaxed and let the wind take them where it will.

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