by Liz Hartford

Created on: February 10, 2010

So you married member of the Armed Forces.  I am sure there were many qualities about your spouse that you love deeply.  The key now is to keep the marriage going.  I know this is going to sound like I am from the 1950’s were women stayed home and took care of the home and the children and the father went out to work and earn the money for the family.  In many households on military bases this practice is still in use. 

It is very important to be stable and keep a routine.  The United States Armed Forces have the highest divorce rate in the country.  There are many things to make your marriage work but both you and the service member have to work together to make it happen.  Keeping lines of communication open, don't get angry (I know this one is hard for many people with built up anger).  It is very important to keep the lines of communication open in both directions.  It is also very important on both sides not to loose your cool and start yelling and playing the blame game.  This gets no where but hurt feelings and bad vibes. 

There are a few tricks I have tried that have worked pretty well as far as keeping the lines of communication going.  I am a talker on subjects I like but not so much on what my husband likes because we are very different.  I meet him in the middle and we will talk about cooking and then the door is open, he even will go to the commissary and pick out the good stuff to try the new recipe.  That to us is common ground and it something we like to do together.  

I can sit here and tell you how I make my marriage work with my sailor but everyone has different taste and will enjoy things that others may not.  The key is to find that one thing that you will both love doing and enjoy.   Also, keep the communication going as well.  Talking to each other and get the feelings out in the open they are much better to address if you know both sides of the idea the problem or issue can be handled in the proper way

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