by Ben Jones

Created on: February 09, 2010

Some Americans would inject Taco Bell intravenously if I could. Why is there such an affinity for this American bastardization of Mexican cuisine? Cultural Acclimation. Taking a Cheesy Gordita Crunch to the face is as American as wrap-around porches, national debt, and the fascinating meat amalgamation known as "Turducken."

Most every country has a distinct food culture. Spain has tapas, Italy has lasagna, and Laos has venomous snake blood. There is little opposition in asserting that food accounts for a significant portion of a country's culture. Thus, an (slightly subjective) overview of Danish cuisine may be helpful in forming a sense of the country as a whole. Here is a survey of popular elements:

Rugbrød med leverpostej
English: rye bread with liver paté.
Tastes like: Home Depot plywood slathered with Fancy Feast. 

A staple element of any Danish lunch, this "delicacy" consists of bread denser than diamond and darker than Darth Vader. Smother it in pig liver and voila! And if this amount of pig product doesn't satiate your Scandinavian palate, you can purchase the paté imbued with bacon bits.

Frikadeller
English: Modified Meatballs
Tastes like: a meaty basis with unrecognizable overtones

An enlarged and culturally adapted version of Swedish meatballs, frikadeller are typically a pork composite, a ball of ground swine mixed with onions, spices, and bits of other unidentified yet unquestioned foodstuffs. Individual recipes probably exceed danish individuals, and each recipe is a carefully kept secret. It's like your mother's banana puddin' recipe: ain't nobody getting it.

Wienerbrød
English: Danish
Tastes like: The fluffiest croissant with fresh fruit

Danish danish isn't danish. It's wienerbrød, but it's just as good. Actually, it's better since it's only sold by specialized bakers and made fresh the same hour it's purchased. Pick your pastry, pick your filling, then enjoy immediately and repeatedly.

Lakrids
English: Salted black licorice
Tastes like: An indescribably vile concoction
Undoubtedly created to be a menace to foreigners, these "candies" are loved by Danes and hated by anyone with sensible tastebuds. A perfect example of Danish dark humor, these are included in packs of the country's ubiquitous Hariboe gummy candy pouches and serve as a gastronomic land mine to the unsuspecting snacking foreigner.

Denmark has a rich culinary identity based in longstanding Scandinavian tradition.  Each dish is unique and, while some may be distasteful to the palates of foreigners, a few are international delights.  When traveling in Denmark, consider bypassing the local McDonald's in favor of a local establishment off the beaten path.  Just watch out for the Lakrids.

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