I am a stepmother and say without any doubt, nobody gives stepparents enough credit!As a stepparent, you will often hear "Don't be so hard on them, they are children of DIVORCE" and "you knew what you were getting into". Let me clear up these two misconceptions.

As a stepparent, I am responsible for guiding my stepchildren into productive adulthood. They live with me. As such, they need to respect me and my rules. I should be able to discipline them and help them to become people you want to spend time with, rather than rude and disrespectful. Do you really believe their future boss will excuse their poor behavior because they are children of divorce? Do you really think that it is okay to treat them that everyone should be treated with respect and dignity - as long as they aren't a stepparent?

I had no idea what I was getting into. If I had known, I might have run for the hills. I didn't realize how much they would impact on my marriage. I didn't realize I would be raising them full time. I didn't know that the world looked down on stepmothers (although Cinderella and the wicked stepmother should have been a clue!). I didn't realize that I would have to fight with my husband about the rules and whether or not I had a right to enforce them. I didn't realize the children wouldn't automatically love and respect me.

I am fortunate and have a great relationship with my stepchildren. They are polite and respectful, and they do not require much discipline. I am proud of them, and I feel very proud of the role I have played in getting them to this stage of life. I just wish the rest of the world would recognize how important stepparents can be!

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