by Shaun Wing

Created on: February 09, 2010

Once upon a dreary time when I was a small delicate bud waiting for my opportunity to descend on love, I would relish the chance of writing a loving, tender one liner message on my Facebook profile just to see if she would respond within 20 seconds. Refreshing the page was as frequent as sipping tea; those were painful days; heart wrenchingly morose. Of course all this was before cyber stalking was invented. I was nevertheless a pioneering member of that wet keyboard club. The worse thing was, you know when that person was online; you could smell her perfume even. My eyes would go prickly due to staring at her profile, waiting for a response any response, maybe a poke; perhaps recognition of my steadfast online activity existence. Man and machine in unison, lost in bewilderment looking for signs and communication dialogue via the chat button. I daren't click it and display my aloofness amidst her perfectly formed profile page that shines through great intellect, beauty and clever quirky in-joke comments. I lived in this bubble, I had to pop it. I saved my sanity.

Some famous celebrities have embraced the twitter lifestyle as if it is an island of tranquillity, peace and harmony. They post comments at an astonishing rate giving an eye opener into their sobriety use of language; bland, self righteous and deliriously mundane. I wonder what Stephen Fry would ascertain in twittering if a meteorite landed on his crown? "Oh shucks, a rock is coming towards thee", posted at 11.05 am 22.53 seconds. "Mother of Fry, not sure whether to move left or right", posted at 11.05 am 22.56 seconds. "Ock heck, gallant swift motion to left, done in flamboyant gaiety, leaving head behind", posted at 11.05 am 22.58 seconds. "Eek, not looking good chums, I can smell sulphuric vapour," posted at 11.05 am 22.60 seconds. "Hells bells, my Blackberry is melting", posted at 11.05 am 22.61 seconds. "Oh balls, wished I'd not gone left", posted at 11.05 am 22.64 seconds. "I look like Kojack, I'm disintegrating", posted at 11.05 am 22.65 seconds. "Stephen Fried", posted at 11.05 am 22.67 seconds.

Now that social networking has systematically changed the way we document statements, it is purposefully named blogs and posts. We all do it and it is fragmenting the use of language incidentally creating a terminology that even tomorrow's world would of dismissed as too ludicrous. I've witnessed people even exclaiming person insults in public in the third person analogy. It really is rather a side

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