by Alisha Link

Created on: February 08, 2010

It is rare to find anyone who has had a job working with others who has not at least once been on the receiving end of a little gossip. Whether it’s the resident office gossip, a casual conversation, or the rumor mill run amok, most of us have been there and it can be an uncomfortable situation and sometimes a career spoiler.  Here are a few things you can do to keep from getting sucked into a conversation you may later regret. 

Remove Yourself from the Situation

This is by far the easiest approach to avoid being involved in gossip.  When a conversation turns to gossip and you would rather not be a part of it there are several ways to make your exit.  If you are in a group you can just leave and get back to work and most likely no one will even notice your disappearance.  If you are having a one on one conversation or it seems like an awkard moment to just get up and leave then say goodbye to your co-workers, let them know you are getting back to whatever it was you were doing, and leave it that. 

Change the Subject

Changing the subject is tactic that actually requires a little bit of skill.  If you are trying not to offend the person or persons gossiping, then it needs to be done with a little finesse.  One of the best ways to change the subject is to just interrupt the person speaking.  I know its rude, but if you phrase like this, “Sorry to interrupt, but I...,” it doesn’t seem so bad. Hopefully, you will have something worthy of an interruption to talk about otherwise a question is always a good way to go.

Respectfully Decline

Many times a conversation that starts out harmless enough becomes one person talking about another and trying to get you in the middle of the situation.  If this happens the best thing to do is to not pick sides.Just let the person doing the talking know that you prefer not to get in the middle of anything and would rather not talk about it.  Most people will understand, and more than likely will feel a little guilty themselves for gossiping.

Call Them Out

There are times when a constant gossiper definitely needs to be put in their place.  There are several different ways to do this and a lot of it depends on the situation.  If someone spreads an outright lie, and you know this with certainty speaking up when they mention it, regardless of who is around, may be the best option. It's best to nip these kinds of rumors or gossip before they go to far and it is sometimes good to have a few witnesses.

If you are close with the person gossiping and do not wish to offend or lose their friendship, a one on one approach is a much better option. Talk to them in private at work, or go outside of work to coffee or lunch. Let the person know you value them as a friend, but you can not be a part of their gossiping at work.  If it is causing problems at work, for you or them, let them know and be respectful.  Many times people don’t even realize what they are doing.

Every office has gossip and you have a choice.  You can become involved in conversations that may offend a co-worker, or even worse a boss, or you can avoid them.  

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