by Joshua K. Bradshaw

Created on: February 08, 2010

          Giving gifts not always necessary when you're invited over for dinner

Why you may ask, do I feel that not every dinner invitation calls for a gift? Well, at times it may not be necessary or even desirable. For instance, when invited to the relatives'/in laws' house, there is already the familial bond. Of course for many people around the time of the holidays it's different when it comes to gift giving(not myself, as I do not observe them). However,  a casual meal does not  need more fanfare. I feel there's usually no need to bring a gift except perhaps contributing food or drinks to the meal itself as previously agreed upon. While  gift giving can be a kind and loving act, it is not  appropriate on every social occasion, at least in the case of western cultures.

           Giving under compulsion defeats the whole purpose of the act

    How do you feel about receiving a gift? Well, your answer might depend on whether or not the giver was sincere in his or her generosity. If it was done because they felt obligated to give to you, you might not feel happy about receiving the gift. On the other hand, a spontaneous and thoughtful gift you would certainly appreciate, as you knew the person gave from their heart. If you care about someone, you won't wait for a time when you're obligated to give them something. Conversely, if you receive presents only when you expect them, the element of surprise is gone as is the sincere appreciation for the giver's thoughtfulness.

      Give because you want to, not because you have to

     Instead of compelling others to give, encourage them to show their sincerity by allowing them to give from their own heart. Show your sincerity by giving when it is least expected. The whole point of generosity is it must be genuine. Don't give and expect anything in return. Hospitality should likewise be shown to those who cannot repay the host. You don't always have to invite those who are your friends and family. Perhaps you know someone who's a single parent, isolated elderly person or an underprivileged child or youth who needs a listening ear over some light refreshments. It may not seem like much to you but to that person it would be a major act of kindness and love.

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