by John Hewitt

Created on: February 07, 2010

Self harm is a very common occurrence; it is also greatly misunderstood by both society and the medical profession. There is a misconception that those who self harm are teenage girls, in their bedrooms or Goths listening to the wrong music and that self harm is all about attention; in fact there are a great many people who self harm from a wide range of professional and social backgrounds.

I used to self harm; I self harmed for many years and it helped. It is a way of releasing the intense build up of pressure that occurs during heavy depression; a great many self harmers with whom I have spoken often talk about this release of pressure. Once the pressure is released then one feels better. However, this is not an ideal situation and we need to get that pressure released before we turn to self harm.

So here are three simple tips that I use for when the pressure starts to build:

Stay alert:

This means that one needs to be vigilant against the build up of pressure. In this way then we can release pressure early before we turn to self harm. Walking, talking, making a phone call, cooking and so on can all be used to release the pressure. Self harm occurs when there seems to be no outlet and so if we can provide an outlet before the pressure gets too high then we will have no need for self harm.

Drop the guilt:

This is far easier said than done but self harm also results from the excess baggage of guilt. When you fell in a good space find out why you feel guilty. If the guilt is justified then make find out ways to make amends; no matter what you do not have to carry guilt around forever. Let the guilt go and release the necessity for the self harm.

Don’t blame yourself:

This is similar to the point above in that blame yourself is just another form of guilt. You self harm; it is a condition and you need help and support. Do not beat yourself up for being a self harmer; excuse the pun. In many ways you are very brave for expressing your inner most emotions in such a physical way. However, don’t let it go to your head; there is support for self harm and self harm does not need to be a way of life.

There is support for self harm however, it can be hard to find. I found a great self harm group in Plymouth, England that was run by self harmers. The honesty and the courage were inspirational and the depth of understanding is made it work.

If you can’t find a self harm group then start one. Get some advice and start talking or writing about it for there are self harmers out there that feel so completely alone.

Always be proud of who you are and the honesty of your expression however, do not let self harm run your life; you are in control.

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