by Linda Geoffroy

Created on: February 07, 2010

My son is “developmentally challenged”, “retarded”, “special needs”.  He has seizures.  He’s in a wheelchair.  He’s had so many surgeries on his brain, I cannot count them anymore.  He is unique.  He is strong.  He is his own person.  I love him dearly unconditionally.  His name is David. 

When he was first born, on the third day of his birth, he had his first recognizable seizure.  It was then, and then only, that my life would have a drastic change.  A journey that no one can understand unless they walk in the shoes of a special needs parent. 

It has often been said to me that there is something unexplainable of the connection that my son and I have.  There is a love that is not to be explained by anyone but the parent and child going through this uncommon life filled of unselfishness.  It is a life of giving, of sacrifice, of aloneness, and most of all, blessing.

Some people cannot understand how it is done.  How can anyone do this.  To be quite honest, after all is said and done, on an inner sanctuary of the heart, the parent is the “receiver”. 

If there is any advice that can be given and the utmost important advice ever, it would be to love deeply.  Love beyond the imaginable and the normal.  This will be a journey of giving of yourself, your time, your talents, your energy,  your everything, to make a difference in the child that has been given to you for a purpose beyond human understanding.  The connection that I have with my son is incredible.  If I cannot understand and connect with his feelings, then he is left on his own with nobody, no one to  understand him and I would have failed at being his parent.

With the last statement, comes concern of the future.  Because if the person who knows and loves that child the most, cannot set up someone else to be an advocate, then all is in vein, and the child will be doomed if something were to happen to that parent. 

Make sure there is another person; Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, friend; someone that knows this child and that can be the second best advocate for him/her.  We are blessed to have a family that is involved and cares deeply for David and will do whatever it takes to make sure that he would be taken care of regardless of any situation. 

These children cannot care and understand on their own.  They need advocates.  It would be something like having a lifetime lawyer, but add “love” to the menu. 

Parent, guardian, sibling, whoever you are to this special child, love them through their tantrums, their disabilities, their shortcomings, and their instabilities.  Take charge like you are their guardian angel.  Your reward may not be here on earth, but in heaven.  It is a selfless walk.  As a parent, be involved, know your child deeper than any other topic on earth, and you will know things you never thought possible and will make great choices.  Love, and take charge.

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