by Elspeth Raisbeck

Created on: February 06, 2010

The Top 5 Don’ts of Making a Wedding Speech.

“Preach not because you have to say something, but because you have something to say.”  So said Richard Whatley, Anglican Archbishop of Dublin in the early 19th century. 

No doubt he was talking about sermons and the like but they’re wise words for anyone having to get up on his or her hind legs and spout forth on a special occasion – Best Men, Best Women, Fathers of the Bride, Matrons of Honour, Chief Bridesmaids alike. 

Here are 5 things to avoid if you’re going to make an entertaining wedding speech and be remembered for the right reasons.

1. Giving offence.

Number one dread for the groom (not to mention the bride), once he’s come unscathed through the stag night, is that Aunt Doris’s pacemaker will give out at the profanity of the Best Man’s speech.

The key to deciding what to put into your speech (and perhaps more importantly, what to leave out) is defining who you’re talking to.  So, who are they? What age and background?  This will help you decide which of the drunken mishaps, sexual disasters and schooldays’ pranks to include as well as the jokes.

And for the Father of the Bride…not too many references to her 3-year-old naked exploits with the boy next door (unless she’s marrying him).

2. Getting drunk before giving the speech.

Robbie Williams famously owns up to being so nervous before going on stage that he throws up for hours before hand.  If he can manage to go on stage in front of thousands can you manage it for of a couple of hundred?

There are better ways of calming your nerves until after the deed is done.  Standard relaxation techniques like deep breathing (5 – 10 breaths for a count of 5 in and 5 out) or visualising a happy, laughing audience all work with a little practise.

If necessary, imagine the audience is naked in front of you, but remember not to laugh.

3. Reading verbatim from notes.

Believe it or not people still do this.  If you can make a speech flow naturally with the minimum of prompts then it’s much more enjoyable for the audience.  Many people are using PowerPoint to display pictures and these can be as good a prompt for each story that you want to tell as any.

Other ways of doing a similar thing are to make a compilation of photos onto a single sheet and put several copies on each table.

Reading with your head in your notes leads us on to sins 4

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