by Susan E. Carr

Created on: February 06, 2010

Abuse victims react to their circumstances and their histories in a variety of ways, many of which are difficult to understand unless you have also been a victim of abuse and/or have studied this topic in depth.

This is a field in which there are many and varied opinions in the general public and even among professionals.   What is commonly acknowledged though is that abuse has long term indications and effects on the victims, many are hidden, many are serious.  Professionals who work with victims are aware of the common threads that are prevalent in the behaviour and actions of victims, and by working with them a story is often told – even without words.  

Case histories of victims, while certainly not identical by any means, can enlighten us as to common behaviour patterns, thinking patterns, reaction patterns, and health indications that point to their abusive pasts (or present).   The following case history outlines a few common responses that victims have and professionals note – This is Mary.

Mary is a long term spousal abuse victim.  She finally managed to find her freedom after 23 years.   Mary has bought a new home for herself and her sons however the first action she takes in this new home is to buy bars for the windows.  Mary’s friend, Nancy notices that Mary never opens her blinds but the house is almost always in darkness.  One day Nancy walks up to the windows and opens the blinds to let the sun in.  Mary starts to scream.  “Nancy what are you doing? “Never ever open the blinds!”  Nancy, of course, is stunned at Mary’s response, which to her (and most other people) is extreme. After all, Mary is no longer threatened by her ex-husband – so what is the problem here? 

Mary’s ex-husband was a police officer who threatened her life and stalked her for a long period of time, even after the marriage ended.  Mary believes that she is not, nor will she ever be completely safe.

Mary works in a major city hospital.  She has a new boss and notices that he is somewhat “sneaky”.  She watches him immediately and is never comfortable around him.  One day, the boss comes over to Mary and asks her to provide him with personal information which she knows he is not entitled to.  She refuses and he begins to walk toward her more insistent and argumentative – Mary moves further back

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