In today's society, the loss of a job can be devastating for a variety of reasons. The most obvious, of course, is the loss of income at a time when families are struggling to make ends meet. However, there are psychological reasons that can make job loss even more difficult to handle. First, wealth and status have become symbols of power throughout the world. Therefore, the loss of a job can be experienced as a loss of power, especially by men who are more likely to connect their job with their power in other areas, such as in the family and in social circles. Secondly, many people view their careers as a critical component of their self-concept and identity. For these individuals, being fired from a job equates to a loss of identity. This way of thinking fuels self-doubt about one's worth not only in the job marketplace, but also in the world in general. The loss of a job (and its accompanying income) also can lead to a strong sense of guilt – guilt that you are no longer afford to provide as you once did for your loved ones and guilt for the stress and uncertainty that the family usually experiences as a result of the loss of income. Finally, depression is a common reaction to job loss for obvious reasons, and depression can lead to a host of other problems such as sleeplessness, lethargy, and at worse, suicidal ideation.
All of these feelings, while normal, can be self-defeating because such negativity can have a dramatic impact on the ultimate outcome. Perceptions have a substantial impact on our thinking and behavior. Therefore, if your perceptions remain negative, the likelihood for a positive outcome is significantly reduced. In contrast, if the negativity is replaced with a positive outlook, such as, "When one door closes, another one opens," the chances for a positive outcome increase.
To avoid being pulled down by the initial negativity commonly experienced after being fired, here are seven things you should try to avoid.
1. Avoid panic. Panic never helps an already difficult situation. While a moderate degree of anxiety has consistently been found to be a motivator, panic only makes the situation worse. No one makes good choices while in a state of panic and good opportunities can be lost during the panic period.
2. Avoid isolation. Many people prefer to be left alone when they are feeling down. However, isolation to the exclusion of everything else is obviously detrimental. Although giving yourself time to reflect on the past and discover new directions for the future can be helpful after a job loss, this should not be done at the sacrifice of connections with loved ones, friends, and colleagues who can provide not only supportive at these times, but also ideas and future job opportunities through their network of friends and colleagues.
3. Avoid letting negative emotions consume you. Although you shouldn’t ignore your negative emotions, it’s important to not allow them to become consuming. Anger, resentment, and depression are all normal emotions to experience after losing your job. However, dwelling on the negative and letting these feelings control your outlook can consume valuable energy that can be better served by looking for other opportunities.
4. Avoid rigid mindsets. For example, although you may not think a temporary job is worth bothering with, if money is critical, temporary jobs may be necessary. Plus, these temporary opportunities may eventually turn into something bigger, such as full time work. You also may need to think outside the box. Most people are comfortable with what they know and have done before, but if a new opportunity presents itself, it might be a good idea to enter unfamiliar territory even if it makes you nervous initially. You don’t know where the journey may lead unless you start down the road.
5. Avoid “what ifs.” Living in the past is not where your mind needs to be right now. Plus, “what ifs” are impossible to answer anyway. If money is not immediately critical, a positive reframe is to view being fired as an opportunity to direct your attention to other important areas of your life, such as your family, community, volunteer opportunities, or school involvement. If money is critical, as it is for most, focus on the future by exploring other career opportunities or a complete career changes. Job loss also can present unique opportunities for self-exploration and a reexamination of your goals, where you want to go and how you want to get there.
6. Avoid lethargy and inactivity. It’s easy to become inactive when you’re feeling depressed, but you should strongly resist this pull. Do everything you can to continue or start some type of exercise routine or physical activity. Not only will this provide an opportunity for distraction from negative thinking, it also has positive effects on your health and psychological well-being. In addition, exercise usually increases your energy level, which can be beneficial when searching for new job opportunities.
7. Avoid going it alone. If nothing seems to be working and your negativity becomes too consuming, open up to family or close friends about your feelings. They may be afraid to bring up the job loss for fear it will upset you even more, but if you let them know that you’d like to talk about it, the conversations not only may make you feel better, they may lead to some very productive ideas about how to get through these tough times.
Being fired or laid off represents one aspect of what typically is an incredibily positive and productive life for most people. Focus on the positive. Remember your life beyond that one experience. You are more than your work. If you focus on your strengths and don't give up, you can begin a new journey. There’s no telling where the road may lead.