by Suz Neave

Created on: February 05, 2010

On a recent outing with a friend of mine to collect her nearly teenage daughter from the cinema, the amusing similarities to the Passage through the Teenage phase of growing up swung into view. Namely, the age old quandary of still needing to have parents around for useful tasks like transport, money etc. but really not wanting the embarrassment of having to admit that you have some in the first place. In this case: the parent’s precise but not clearly defined role, when collecting ones teenager from a social engagement . . .  

Firstly, The cringe factor (for the teenager that is)! Embarrassment displayed by a blush as the said teenagers are confronted by parents, waiting patiently to collect them from their moments of freedom with their mates at the cinema. The first step to a child’s independence is a difficult one for parents to play and sometimes of accept, mainly because they are not fed the useful of information, such as when this will happen. Not wanting to be the over protective mother, it is important that any concern is hidden, as their teenage daughter gaily dances off hand in hand for the first time with her new boyfriend and friends. A decent lad, nice parents, but will his politeness and good manner extend to sitting politely next to my daughter throughout the movie. A mother has to wonder. Parents desperately resisting the urge to sneak in behind their child, to check that their worse fears are in fact only horrors of their over-active imagination. Sense takes over but is replaced by pacing the grounds, clock watching and intermittent nail nibbling.

An informal support group of parents collects in discreet areas around the cinema doors. A mixture of first time parents and veterans huddle in the hope to find comfort in numbers. Words of wisdom are passed around and the rules of how to behave. These of course, are based on first hand experience, and are received to murmurs and nods of agreement, like some kind confessional at an addict anonymous gathering. What they are talking about is an unwritten, but must be followed, chapter in the bible for bringing up kids.

“I try to catch my son’s eye as he passes and then discreetly walk away. A few moments later having broken away from the crowd, he will join me and my programme as taxi is laid out for me.” One woman contributes with a semi-confident smile.

The ritual begins as the teenagers bustle out of the cinema attempting to show ignorance of the presence of

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