by Lori Buttermark

Created on: February 03, 2010   Last Updated: February 05, 2010

Remember back in grade school when you asked your classmate: “Will you be my Valentine?”  Then you presented her or him with a small handmade card.  Ah, it was so adorable, simple and memorable.  Then you grew up, endured the heartbreak of acne and without a date for the school dance or the Senior Prom.   

Okay, it is not the end of the world. Happiness or heartache, life is what you make it, including the RED LETTER day when Cupid traditionally shoots his arrow.

Yes, it makes us feel warm ‘n’ fuzzy to receive a gift from that special someone, but also remember there is no law against treating oneself either; in fact, it helps make the single person feel special and in the loop of the “celebrated” day.

Imagination, creativity and putting a positive spin on a possibly negative situation are what separate the child from the mature individual.

There are two kinds of single people.

The insecure single with the “must have” or “must do” attitude is “open-season” for self punishment and heartache. They cannot envision themselves alone on any occasion, including Valentine’s Day; hence, they go to extreme lengths to reach out, just short of inviting themselves to an event because they would rather “die” than be home alone. 

The secure single who is flexible and goes with the flow. They are comfortable in their own skin as well as a crowded room. If they receive a Valentine’s gift or invitation, fine; otherwise, so be it. They feel no shame treating themselves to a box of candy, jewelry or an outfit with an imaginary gift tag: To “Me”, From “Me”.

This single is invited to share Valentine’s Day with a friend or a few friends which may consist of a night out for singles “only” at a restaurant or chip-in casual buffet dinner at one’s home.

The possibilities are endless. Valentine’s events are out there, including dance studios, banquet halls, reputable night clubs or even house parties. Attend without expectation; one never knows the outcome. Just being in the “single mix” for the evening reaps its own reward, rather than “home alone” drying tears over what could have been. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

A small consolation is remembering that married couples or couples in a long-term relationship can be in Cupid Jeopardy as well. Childlike anxiety, disenchantment and unqualified stress ensue over the possibility of being forgotten.

No, singles should not be sad on Valentine’s Day. Partake of the occasion and remember that love arrives in a heart-shaped box called “Karma”. 

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