by Linda Muller

Created on: February 03, 2010

Be single. Don't be sad. It's a waste of time and energy to believe bad things about yourself. You have friends. You have family. You have interests and passions. Having a mate might be icing on the cake, but it's not the cake!

The only reason for single-person sadness on Valentine's day is when their mated or married friends presume that this means that single friends must be treated as lepers when it come to invitations. Where is it written that Valentine's day is a celebration of only one form of love? And when a person is single, why is it assumed that this person is unhappy?

Have none of us ever met a happy single person? And on that same token, how many actually happily married people do you know? Are they happy because they are married people or are they happy because they are happy people? In my experience, there are numerous folks who are happy with their marital status, whichever side of the line the happen to reside. Married people have not cornered the market on happiness. Neither have those who are in otherwise committed relationship, and particularly not those who are simply dating.

Assuming that pairing off or marrying is the key to happiness is a problem. Finding someone to spend time with on a regular basis or for the rest of your life does not guarantee bliss. So when Valentine's day comes along and people celebrate their love for one another, it might be a wonderful expression of affection, but it is not proof of happiness. Happiness comes from being grateful for what you have. Sadness comes in wishing for things that you don't have. Not having a date, mate or spouse is not sad. Not noticing that you have friends, family, interests and passions is sad.

If you think you're sad because you're supposedly alone, remind yourself of what you do have. Be grateful for the wonder around you that is nature, love from friends, admiration from family, respect from small children and neighborhood dogs. Smell the roses that you bought for yourself and remind yourself that you have the wherewithal to do good things for yourself. Happiness comes from the same place that sadness comes from... yourself.

The search for soul mates makes us beleive that there is something wrong with us if we haven't found that person yet. Why? There are billions of people in the world, what makes you think it's going to be easy to find one? And what if it takes half your life? Do you really deserve to be sad until that happens? Wouldn't it be better to pay attention to the wonderful things about yourself and your life? When that becomes your focus, maybe you'll find out that you are your own soul mate.

Make a choice to be happy. Valentine's day or not.

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