by Michele Mccullough

Created on: February 03, 2010

The first thing that can kill a marriage is a lack of respect for the other party. Respect is essential in allowing people to feel wanted, loved and appreciated by others. In a marriage situation, a lack of respect causes hard feelings and low self esteem, turning the person away from the partner. If the problem is not resolved in a timely fashion, the couple grows further and further apart until the marriage finally dies.

Thus, bringing us to the next point, a lack of communication. Your partner is the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Communicating your feelings should be at the top of your priority list. Allowing one another the freedom to speak your mind without the fear of a negative reaction is a major key to having success in this area. As humans, our feelings tend to be hurt if someone points out to us that we are doing something wrong or inappropriate. Therefore, it is important to be able to communicate our feelings in a kind or loving manner. Often, this is not the case if we are upset at the time, but it is very important to control what you say and how you say it and equally important to be able to receive criticism without being offended.

Cheating is the biggest marriage killer. No matter what is said, when you break the trust of someone who loves you, it's the hardest thing in the world to get back. To keep a marriage together after an episode of cheating, there must be total forgiveness and even then, the relationship is never the same again. When a couple stays together after one has cheated, a whole new relationship must be built and the person who did the cheating will have to be prepared to deal with a partner who will have to build that trust up all over again. This will probably take years so both parties must be totally committed to making it work.

Another big marriage killer is the children. Raising kids in today's world is a full time challenge in itself. If both parties agree for the most part, on how it should be done, things run pretty smoothly. However, if they don't, trouble brews and there is constant discord. Taking the time to discuss situations and how to deal with them is a huge help. By doing this, you are both in agreement on how to handle the situation rather than one jumping to make a rash decision the other would disagree with.

Another problem with children is the lack of time available to spend with one another. Plan a date night as often as possible and treat it as importantly as if it were a bill that needed paying. Many a marriage has fallen apart simply because the couple has not made investing time in each other a priority. Jobs and children become an overwhelming responsibility but divorce is an even bigger one, so invest your time and energy where the biggest payoff is.

The biggest marriage killer is seeing that things are falling apart and not taking the steps to correct the problems. A marriage is like a garden, it must be sowed properly to receive the beauty and in this life today, a good relationship and home are the most valuable things anyone can own!

Learn more about this author, Michele Mccullough.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.