by Kristin Schaaf

Created on: February 03, 2010

I have always been a firm believer that honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to healthy, intimate relationships. Next to your love for one another, trust is what binds you to your partner in intimacy and complete vulnerability.

I cannot imagine being married and not having open, honest communication with each other. Without it, there is no complete trust in one another. When we open the door to lies and dishonesty, we enable our selfishness, doubts and fears to build a wall in the relationship. This wall separates the two partners, creating a barrier to true intimacy and trust.

Lying

Whatever the case may be, if you feel the need to lie to your partner about something in your relationship, it says more about your character than that of your significant other. Ask yourself – why is it that I feel the need to hide something or cover it up? Are you afraid your partner will not understand or respond in a way that you don’t agree with?

No matter what the response may be, taking the opportunity to be up front and dealing with the questions will be the smarter decision in the long run. By not being truthful with your significant other, you are indirectly saying that you do not respect his or her opinion.

A lack of respect in or trust of your partner will hinder your intimacy. If you are in a serious, committed relationship, chances are that your significant other will know he or she is being lied to. And neither one of you will be able to be completely vulnerable with one another because of this barrier.

The intimacy that comes with real trust is unlike any other. There is a sense of freedom that comes with being completely honest with one another. Don’t be afraid to let your guard down and be vulnerable and truthful with your partner. The intimacy that results will be worth it.

Being lied to

None of us likes being lied to. It not only angers us, but creates an immediate distrust in the relationship. It is hard to forgive and let go when someone close to us betrays our trust. It is difficult to be close and feel that we can completely enable ourselves to be vulnerable with our partner.

This lack of vulnerability and sense of feeling betrayed makes a person feel disrespected. And the last thing you’ll feel is the desire to be intimate with your significant other. Time and forgiveness may heal the wounds of the broken trust, but it will take time for the heart to be fully mended. If your partner is willing to work things out and be more honest, have an open mind and slowly open your heart to trust again. It could strengthen your relationship and make your intimacy that much stronger.

Relationships are about open communication, mutual respect and love. It is when we experience all three within the realms of a committed, honest relationship that we experience the greatest intimacy.

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