by Sandra Quevedo

Created on: February 03, 2010

The most important step to take after a break-up is making sure you give yourself enough time to grieve.  Take care of you FIRST!

In every relationship, no matter what anyone says, one partner always (tends to think) he/she cares a bit more than the other.  And yes, I speak from experience - and it usually tends to be us (the women).  This is just a fact, and it should not be considered either good or bad, it is just the way life goes!  Especially with the ladies, we tend to always get emotionally closer, just by virtue of the fact that we can and possess the "know-how."   Men...well we will just say for the sake of this article, tend to be on the romantically challenged side of things. 

So what do I mean by take care of you first?  Do anything and everything that makes you feel better.  I remember crying for hours, and then sleeping a lot too!  Was I depressed? Maybe just a little, but this is perfectly normal - and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you truly cared for your mate, there is no other range of emotion you should be going through, (hurt, anxiety, despair are all ugly sounding) but perfectly appropriate for this occasion.   As a matter of fact, the sooner you allow yourself to feel these, the faster you will recover from your break-up and get some clarity.  Remember ...don't stay idle at this station too long, there is only so much grieving you can do - and it will get old!

I remember treating myself to a lot of different papering exercises; I did everything ranging from massages to Mani & Pedis, happy hours and a lot of girlfriend time!  BUT beware of the men bashing sessions with your girls, stay away from that.  All that will do is just breed more anxiety and prompt the everlasting sessions of "why me?" or why you are no longer together?  Walk away from that - as much as you can.  Play Gloria Gaynor's classic "I will Survive" as many times as you need to, myI-pod nanobecame my new companion.  Music and [I am not going to lie]  a little bit of wine (ok, maybe a lot more than just a little) helped too!  Caution, keep a meter on the alcohol intake, there is a thin line between melancholic-alcoholic intake and destructive behavior! I also meditated a lot, and reading about the principles and teachings of Kabbalah (the ancient wisdom and use of practical tools to create joy and lasting fulfillment) helped me through it too!

Surround yourself

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