by Mwandi M.

Created on: February 02, 2010   Last Updated: February 03, 2010

When the subordinate fights with the boss

One piece of advice that my mama gave me when I was a headstrong teenager was to pick my battles.  “Not all the fights you wage are worth fighting for.  Not all the battles you forego are not worth fighting for.  Have the wisdom to discern the difference.”  At the time I was cementing my freedom through rebellion so I didn’t take much heed.  Years later I learned the benefit of these words. 

It was one of those days and my manager was in one of his more foul moods.  He came into the office snapping, shouting, yelling and generally being impolite to anyone he encountered.  To this day, I don’t know what caused his foul mood.  Maybe it was stress, the pressure of it all, a fight with his girlfriend, a car accident in the morning….the list is endless.  But his anger was infectious and affecting everyone in the office.  

Most of the office was used to his tantrum throwing ways and was able to ignore him when he was on a rampage.  I was also accustomed to his erratic behavior and usually able to ignore it.  Unfortunately, I was unable to ignore it on this particular day.  

He began questioning me about a report that was not ready nor due (to which we’d had a discussion the day before).  My answers did not seem to satisfy him, and his questioning of “why” continued until it began sounding like he was whining.  It’s possible that he wasn’t really whining but providing a line of questioning to find a flaw in the process and fix it.  His questioning went on and I was able to reply him in a calm even voice that served to irritate him even more.  Suddenly, or finally, or even more appropriately, eventually he snapped.  He raised his voice to decibels previously unbeknownst to me and threw insults my way. 

Instantly, my anger was riled, and I responded in a loud voice that I was unaware I had.  I chastised him as a mother would chastise her son for his erratic behaviour and rude responses.  I promptly related to him again the details required for the report, reminding him that he was already aware of this process thus his anger and questioning were futile and served more to deconstruct the office environment as opposed to achieve anything.  I went on for a few more minutes; aware that the office had stopped working to hear me yell in rage, aware that his manager had walked into the room and was watching the spectacle with a bemused look on his face.  My manager tried to speak again, but I silenced him, sat down at my desk and pretended to continue working. 

I was seething in my seat and it took all the energy I had left not to return the spiteful stare that my manager was giving me at that moment.  But deep inside, I was proud of myself.  I had fought a battle that many would probably believe unnecessary as my manager's mood was known by many – but I felt was necessary to fight.  For the simple reason that by not challenging his behaviour, I was passively participating in it and allowing him to bully me because he was my manager.  But by arguing with him, I stood my ground and learned two valuable lessons that day.  One, I listened to my mother and now pick my battles wisely.  Two, he never argued with me unnecessarily again.

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