by Roxianne Moore

Created on: February 20, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Divorce has so many causes, and each case seems so different, that it's hard to give ONE most frequent cause. But, having recently divorced after 23 years of marriage, I can definitely say that I know some of the main reasons marriages fail.

1. Lack of trust: When you feel you can no longer trust your partner, nothing he or she says is going to change that. Trust is very fragile, and once fractured, it usually cannot be mended. Add to that the fact that lies are often piled on top of more lies, and you have a situation that makes any kind of relationship impossible.

2. Lack of communication: Hiding things from a partner is a sure way to destroy a relationship. Eventually, the secrets are going to be thrown out into the open, and there is absolutely no good reason for keeping major secrets from a marriage partner. Even positive secrets, like a surprise gift or vacation, can backfire and cause problems.

3. Lack of integrity: Whether you're talking about a marriage or a business partnership, both parties have to be honest and upfront. When one partner starts cheating on any level, the relationship is doomed.

Some people may argue that, with counseling, a marriage can be repaired after any of the above problems, but this is very rarely a permanent fix. Trust, open communication and integrity are keys to any good relationship, and once those things are broken, there will always be a certain measure of doubt and insecurity.

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