by Joseph King

Created on: January 31, 2010

Happy New Year! For all you lonely, single men at the flip of a new calendar, do not despair. This year, or at least the start of it, boasts unlimited possibilities across an entire spectrum of dating bliss. January is the best time of the year to pick up women. What separates this time of the year from other months? How do I neglect the sweaty, summer lovin' era of July? Have I forgotten the animalistic, pro-creative desires of late March? Dare I fail to consider the college aged parental-rebellion phases of early September? Yes. January marks that sweet, purgatorial epoch between the waist-expanding holidays of late December, the resolutions of another year's beginning, and the approaching deadline of the Valentine's Day hallmark. Dismiss those chocolate-covered strawberries, those vanilla scented candles, that Barry White playlist. January is its own aphrodisiac, and brother - it lasts thirty . . . one . . . days.

There are four America holidays condusive to eating to your belt-buckles' content: Easter, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Thankfully, for us single men, the latter two are close enough to each other to leave a lasting impression - often times, in the sofa. Couple the extensive feasts at multiple locations between those two holidays with copious amounts of booze that often go along with them, and everybody tends to exhibit a much jollier version of themselves. In many women, this leads to poor self-image. Poor self image is condusive to a need for physical validation. Thus, ripe for the plucking. As a side note, avoiding, or reducing these caloric temptations as a man and maintaining a reasonable fighting-weight makes you more appealing to potential mates. Among other men who will inevitably fall victim to the tran-fat trap, you will be seen as a much more desirable genetic match to your amorous onlookers. This weight gain is temporary, however, and before long that 6 or 7 whose number you swindled will become a well-invested 8 or 9.

New Years Eve itself is often a joyous, celebratory occasion, but the thought of the close of another year is a subconsciously terrible contemplation. Looking back at the failed accomplishments of another year, and to your advantage, another year of being single, one often resolves to change some aspect of their life. You motivate yourself to get going, chase that dream, pay off that car, earn that promotion, and find that one, true love. Now, while your ambitions almost certainly run the gamut between

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