by J Bennett

Created on: February 20, 2007   Last Updated: May 11, 2007

Finding and becoming involved in a new church is one of the major decisions we make in our lives. It is an intimate decision, I think next to finding a spouse, it is perhaps the most intimate decision we make. Two years ago, my family found a new church. We had been looking for several years, and although we had attended churches, we had never found one which felt like "home". We have now found a church which we love. Now, I am serving on the Deacons and one of my responsibilities is to help others want to make our church their home. It is fun to inform others what to look for when shopping for a church.

Something has changed in our culture: when our parents (I am a late baby boomer), were growing up and starting families, they did not search for a new church. They went to the church of their parents, grandparents or other family members. There was "brand loyalty" so to speak. Because their parents had been raised Methodist, Presbyterian or Baptist, that is the church in which they were baptized, confirmed, married and from which they would be buried. We now find a church that finds our needs. So, the culture is changing, especially among the so-called mainline churches. The good part of this is that we worship and serve God with those who have chosen to be part of the congregation.
So, when a person is seeking a church, I would suggest some questions.
Do I feel a sense of community within the congregation?
-The congregation are those with whom you will share your major life events.
Would you feel comfortable sharing the details of a death of a close relative, an illness or whom you want to be present at your wedding or the wedding of your children?
Does the Pastor have the warmth that would allow you to be comfortable sharing intimate details of your life?
Does the church's view of God, of the community of Christ, the sacraments or ordinances (baptism, communion, marriage) parallel my own? Is the church's view of women and homosexuals parallel my own?
Is social justice or missions important to me? Are these priorities for the church?
Two final thoughts: a church is like a lake, it remains fresh only when water is being added. Does the church demonstrate a desire to grow? Is the church content with who they are? Or are they apologizing that they are not like the church down the street?
A church I would veer away from fast is one where I sensed a division or a feeling of dissatisfaction with the pastor or the leadership. We all have enough stress in our lives, we do not need to add more.

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